Monday, November 18, 2013

Our Story After 5 years...

I’ve been away finding my life.  Divorced, living on my own for the first time in my life and developing a career and friendships (which says a lot) while helping my children along on their own paths.

Meghan and Nick have grown to be the unique individuals that they are.  Nick has grown into a nice handsome young man of 19 and has outgrown some, but not all, anxiety issues. He has a tendency to talk to himself even out in public but he’s a caring and nice boy with a great sense of humor.  If I were to go back and ask, remember when?  I would think of how he was so obsessed with staying a kid, looking like a kid and never growing up.  Well he now walks around with a mustache on his face and reminds me on almost a daily basis that he’s not a kid!  Oh, how the pendulum swings.  Or just grows up!
He has a fondness, or should I really say an obsession with superheroes.  And the last few years with all the great movies, The Avengers, Captain America, Superman, Thor (oh me too) has helped him come into his own. His lives in the graphic novel world (with Sheldon and the rest of the Big Bang Theory friends) and doesn’t understand why he has to work in life, even though it will be through the help of special programs.  His current program helps him with academics as well as work programs to help him learn what he likes and doesn’t like in the workplace.  His program offers a feel for many different jobs in different industries which is wonderful.

Meghan has been at her residential school for 5 years now. It was a tough transition for me (well for all 4 of us) but she has blossomed into a nice, funny, fun-loving 18 year old girl.  She has adapted to both school and home (home every other weekend) perfectly.  It’s her life and her routine and she has become a pro at it.  She even has jobs at school, makes money and she is happy.  Happy!  Isn’t that the point, and what we all search for so diligently?    

She is still nonverbal but has a few words and some very basic sign language.  I started learning ASL myself just to have the understanding to teach her finger spelling and more advanced concepts when or if she’s ready.  She also has a mini iPad as a communication device which she loves and respects… I say “respects” because it hasn’t been flinging across any rooms (or at any heads) since she got it.  I think she likes this technology.    

I’d like to say that she gave up on her aggression and hand biting 100 percent of the time, but with the help of Paxil these compulsions have minimized greatly.  She does have some OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) issues:  wearing latex gloves because she doesn’t want to touch anything with her hands is the latest problem.  But that is nothing compared to living with destructive behaviors.  Gladly take it and run.