What a great teacher, principal, psychiatrist, pediatrician, nurse, shoe store..

First, what a great teacher…

As a continuation of my last post (anxiety issues at school), Nick’s teacher sent me this email the very next day:

Hi Mrs. Collins,
I sent Mr. S., the principal, an email regarding the lockdown. Attached is his
response. My GUESS is it will be this week, but please be sure to tell Nick I spoke
with Mr.(Principal) and the alarms are NOT expected to go off. I know Nick talked to me
yesterday about being nervous about the loud noise from the fire alarm.
Thanks so much,
(Teacher)

Hi (Principal),
My student Nick is VERY anxious about the lockdown drill. Do you
know if the fire alarm will be going off, he's worried about the
noise.
Also, I know we aren't supposed to know when it is, but he is
leaving for Florida on Monday and I don't want him to continue to
be upset the rest of the week. Is there any way to know if we are
having the drill this week? He now needs to be walked to class
with a para because his anxiety is so high. I also have his
mother's cell phone number to call her if we have it while he is
on vacation so he won't ruin his vacation worrying about the
drill.
Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much.
(Teacher)

Hi (Teacher),
The drill will be sooner than later. His vacation will not be ruined. In
fact, he will be relieved. The alarm is not supposed to go off during the
drill. Thanks.
(Principal)

What’s also great is that Nick’s psychiatrist got my message about my concern about him needing more meds (based on what I have noted about Nick)… and his response was: he agreed and has already called in a new script to the pharmacy… and all within a 24 hour period, too…. Hey!!

And don’t look now but we seem to be on a roll… I left a message for the pediatrician asking for a note, stating that Nick has autism, so that we can get a disability pass at Disney… Even though I kinda felt like a heel ... I mean, I called and had to leave a message on the nurse’s "hotline" number… “Hi, uhhhhh, I know you're busy, but, um ... we’re going to Disney next week and I wanted to get a, uhhhh, note from the doctor saying that my son has autism so he can, um (cut in line and be first for rides at Disney), get a disability pass" … Ugh... But, the nurse called me back--2 hours later-- (same nurse as always—nice woman) and said, “Of course we can do that, no problem…. Who do I address it to at Disney?" Whoa!!

And they had the letter ready for me the very next day.

Hey, we’re getting some good service around here!!

And I'm feeling so good that I'm running off to buy myself a new pair of shoes!! Yum ... They're nice designer ones at Marshalls for only 30 bucks... Hey, some healthy, guilt-free shopping-- just for me!!

Anxiety Disorder and Autism

As of the last week, or so, Nick’s anxiety has increased at school—and going to school, as well. About 3, or so, years ago, I had to take him to a therapist and a psychiatrist (for meds) to help him with a, almost debilitating, case of anxiety. We tried Luvox to relieve the anxiety and OCD, and it has worked, wonderfully, for these three years, and on a low dose, too. Just to reiterate, the OCD was like being hen-pecked with his perseveration about obsessive issues—like being nervous at school. I would hear: "I'm nervous in school, Mom" about 10 times just in the 20 minutes he would be getting ready for school. And my response? Well that was well practiced, too. I mean, if I didn't just say: "I know you are Nick," then he would get upset... apparently he just wants to hear those words--and nothing else--to help him through the issue...

So, I asked his teacher if she’s noticed an increase in anxiety at school—and that I would be calling his doctor to see about finally increasing the dose—I mean let’s face it, he’s only on 50 milligrams and went through 2 growth spurts since starting the meds (he’s now 5’7, and 14 years old), so I thought it just has to be the meds, but I just got this e-mail from his teacher…

I'm thinking part of Nick's anxiety is that we are planning a practice
lockdown drill. We don't know when it will be happening, and he is very nervous
about the whole process. We have stressed to him that it's just practice so we know
what to do in the event of an emergency. We have practiced them within the
classroom and they have talked about them in each class he attends. Until the
practice lockdown passes, an aide has been walking with him to his classes, rather
than going independently, to help with his anxiety. I'm hoping once we have the
practice lockdown, Nick's anxiety will be alleviated, as I'm not sure there will be
another practice one this school year.

Other than the lockdown, nothing else has changed here at school. He was slated to do the Pledge of Allegiance on the intercom this week which he has been practicing for months and really excited about, but has decided not to do it this week, he's just too nervous about the lockdown. Maybe he can try again later in the year.

Something to mention to the doctor; however, I’m also experiencing more frustration at home.. So I think I will be upping his meds… Tough call!

Any thoughts?

Living with Aspergers/Autism: personality/disorder

Living with aspergers is probably the most interesting component of being a parent. Hey, who wants to raise a boring, typical kid anyway? Aren’t they usually materialistic and just hang out with their typical peers and age appropriate friends? Yeah!

But I’ve got someone else who has a very interesting approach to life and verbal spew. My son, Nick, tells me how it is—how it really is, and to everybody else as well, for that matter. I love this component to his personality: a telltale sign that he will always speak his mind freely and openly.

As with most people/kids on the autism spectrum, they do not understand little white lies, sarcasm and figure of speech…

For instance, when I ask Nick if I have wrinkles on my face—like around the eyes and mouth? He says an emphatic—"YES! "

Do I need my hair highlighted, can you see my roots, Nick? —"YES! "

Do I look a little fatter today than I did yesterday, Nick? …Well you get the picture.

One does not have to be autistic to be this painfully honest, all young kids are, as we know—they haven’t learned this little, delicate skill yet; but as autistic kids get older, they still hold on to that “Oh, so cute, brutal honesty” component that makes them so endearing—but only in some social settings.

Of course we help them learn the “play act” of little white lies in society; we need our kids to be accepted and liked, after all.

Same thing goes for sarcasm and a "figure of speech" concept. I’m still trying to teach this to Nick. He takes everything so literally, and he so often will come home from school peeved about something or other… and it’s my job to ask him what happened? (This time!) And what did this person say to him? And to help him understand—it’s not personal!! (Then I need to define—“It’s not personal.”) Ugh, and the vicious cycle expands.

For instance, the other day I said to him “Oh, don’t eat Wasabi, it's so hot (spicy) you'll die!” Uh, his eyes blew open and my autism meter was in the red.

He does get very mad at himself when he takes things too far. It’s his nature—the perfectionist (OCD) side of his personality (disorder); or when he can’t do something successfully the very first time, like win at his Nintendo DS or Wii games; or even ride his bike—his temper goes into overkill:

Personality and disorder—tell me, does one define the other? Nick’s disorder does affect his personality in more ways than one. Outside of his autism lies a boy who is fun, easy-going and has a great sense of humor. Which other people also enjoy and love him for.

The other side is his monster: OCD, perfectionism, anxiety-ridden burden that he is learning to live with (and me too); to reduce it, to shrink it down to an itty-bitty flaw and nothing more… I mean we all have flaws; no ONE is perfect.

That’s my job!

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