Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Therapy is great!

There, I’ve said it and now I can stop and make this the shortest post in history, but I won’t. I will blab away and tell you why I say what I do, and do what I say … and what inspired this post.

Like you, I like to read many blogs and most of them are located on my blogroll where you will find the Brazen Careerist blog. The reason why I like her blog is why a lot of people like it -- the human and self interest side -- the personal stuff. Her blog is meant to help those in business to learn and grow using her successful ideas and suggestions -- all good. However, she also blogs about her personal life, some stuff so humorously shocking (for a business blog) that I continue to read -- as do most people who like to read the juicy stuff now and then (and don't pretend that that's not you, too). Btw, she mentioned that she thinks she might have Asperger’s syndrome (perhaps in a more tongue in cheek manner), but her young son was diagnosed with the disorder.

One of her posts was one of which my eyes did a double take and I smiled. "How to decide if you need to see a therapist is the title. I loved seeing it even before I read it, because I'm one of those people who believe in the power and the rewards of a good therapist, and I am emphasizing the word: “good.”

Do run from the bad therapists and search for a good one. And you will know when you have found each of the two: A bad therapist will make you feel stupid, boring and undeserving (yeah, that happened to me). And a good therapist will know why you're there in the first place.

A lot of people believe that seeing a therapist is a sign of weakness, of shame. But that attitude is the actual weakness if you ask me. To have enough love for yourself, the desire to know yourself better, and the courage to be the best person, parent, husband/wife that you can be, is what seeing a therapist is all about.

I’ve told you before that Nick and I see a therapist together because he is on Luvox for his anxiety and OCD, and the one-hour long, one day a month appointment with B (our therapist) is actually required. At first I thought, ugh, a whole hour spent with someone because we are "forced" to and that Nick talks incessantly about only two topics: how nervous he is in school and about superheroes.

Come to realize soon after, it was a blessing. Hint: she’s a good therapist; someone who will let you know what she thinks without holding back -- is a very good thing, and the fact that she’s very aware of Nick behaviors and of autism spectrum disorders is everything for us -- almost like a substitute parent for an hour -- while I suck down my latte and enjoy the view…

Then one day I just opened up and divulged my true feeling about everything that I was dealing with in my life (I'd found the courage) and it was like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders -- because that was where all my problems and the problems of my kids were resting. It was a moment of clarity and certainty; a moment that I was able to see more clearly the kind of person and mother that I was to Nick, and to Meghan, for that matter. She also gave me confirmation and validation about my feelings and about my heart-wrenching decision of residential placement for Meghan -- and the educated opinion of someone who understands and who has been there.

Friends are also good people to talk to about your problems -- and expected, but sometimes friends can’t tell you what they really think in fear of hurting your feeling, nor do you really want to burden them with heavy problems and major decisions.

In therapy sometimes B and I just gab away … she gabs about her interesting family and of growing up with a father who she believed had Asperger’s syndrome, and I gab about my personal and family problems, issues, concerns -- of course! We talk. We laugh. We drink lattes -- until Nick interrupts to say: “EXCUSE ME, is it my turn yet!!?”

Ahhh, we love therapy!!


Tanya @ Teenautism said...

So glad you have found a good therapist! They are definitely worth their weight in gold.

Penelope Trunk said...

I really enjoyed this post. I love talking with my son's therapists, too. (We've gone through more than a few.) I learn so much about my son from them, but I also learn a lot about myself. And I totally know what you mean about the joys of having time for the latte. In therapy.

Holly Nappi Collins said...

Oh, as I smile...and thank you for inspiring it!! And thanks for checking in and sharing your thoughts.