Lack of common sense or lack of interest? About 8 year old autistic girl arrest

I’m sorry but have you seen Common Sense? I can’t seem to find it out there and frankly it has me scared to death for my autistic children.

I could so easily be talking about a lot of the headline news; sometimes it’s just enough for me to suck down my morning coffee without chocking on the latest heartbreaking news. But, today, I’m primarily focusing on the backlash of last week's story of the 8-year-old girl with Asperger syndrome (AS) who was arrested and sent off to be charged with battery (later dropped).

Children with AS usually do not have intellectual disabilities and, therefore, are more easily mainstreamed into typical classroom (sometimes not so easily) -- and sometimes require an aide for classroom support and behavior modification. Apparently, the teacher in this little girl's school didn’t understand autism and some of the behaviors associated with the disorder (or at least didn’t appear to) and, in this case, the child may have exhibited sensory issues: the child wanted to wear her hoodie (hooded sweatshirt) which was also a cow outfit and the teacher wanted her to remove it and the child became behavioral and started hitting the teacher. Now I don’t like hearing about this sort of situation anymore than anyone else who has autistic kids--because--for some of us--it really does hit home and it’s upsetting and scary as hell. But as I was looking further into the opinions (commenters) of the story, I noticed that “some” people believe that the teachers had no choice in the matter, as in saying--the teacher and school did the right thing, and then had some harsh words for the child.

Clearly some people don’t understand autism, but do you really have to understand autism to know that it wasn’t the right thing to do?

I was stunned that someone would even think that having the child arrested was actually an option -- but then again, the school officials and the teachers also thought that it was the “only option” or “right thing to do” or “protocol” or “by the book.” I don’t care how you say it. And to further stun those with actual common sense, the child was charged with battery -- an underage 8-year-old autistic child who weighs 50 pounds. And let’s not even start to identify the emotional trauma that she might have walked away with after, um, leaving jail…. So let’s recap: 8 year old who doesn’t completely understand the world around her was taken away in handcuffs by police officers (who also like to “work by the book”) and whisked away from the only people she knew and probably not knowing if she would ever see her mother again …

In this abc news article the child’s mother said:

"She started screaming 'Mommy, I don't want to go! What are batteries? What are
batteries?'" Towry said. "She didn't even know what she was arrested for."

And back to the fact that this child weighs, what -- just about 50 pounds -- could even be considered a threat to grown adults and would warrant such treatment.

A very interesting fact about an incident like this is that it has happened before....

I certainly understand that business and organizations have rules to follow; hell, one of the assignments that I had last year was to write a Policy and Procedure manual for a new business… so I am one who knows, understands and appreciates why there are rules to follow and procedures to carry out… but in this case?

And furthermore, rules are designed in black and white … there’s no grey area or when and where to follow good judgment and some good, old fashioned “common sense?”

Perhaps the use of common sense should be enforced, too.

Or perhaps it’s not about common sense but simply not wanting to deal with the child with special needs--an “undesirable” student? From the information that I found in Writeslaw website, (special needs advocates) this seems to be the schools way of thwarting their responsibilities of ‘dealing with kids with disabilities.” I’m not a lawyer, but if you are, please weigh in your thoughts.

Let me just say that if Nick was taken away in handcuffs because he yelled at the teacher or shoved someone because they made him mad (which could easily happen--his emotions have a way of getting ahead of him, and, since communication is lacking due to his "disorder"...) being arrested would ruin him (and for a mistake) and he would have a very hard time recovering from such a trauma ...

And you all know that Meghan has hit and shoved her teachers before, but the teachers and school officials know this as a behavioral issue due to her disability and lack of communication skills, they would never have called the police... Nonsense. Instead, we found her a new school with teachers and staff who are trained to handle her behaviors and help her... Not ruin her.

We want to help kids, not ruin them..

Feel free to share your own thoughts about this situation?

Here is the full story from ABC News

A High Tolerance For Pain

I have this one problem when I’m out shopping at the mall--and it’s not just the fact that I want to buy up an entire store, especial the Gap--and OMG, just love the new sweaters that they have out this fall, just love ‘em.

No, it’s the way parents behave with their children. Now I’m not trying to judge another mother. My goodness. I’m old enough and experienced enough to know that I wouldn’t even “go there;” I do know what it’s like to run around the mall with the little ones under foot, especially when the little ones are little tricksters and are into everything. Ever see the boys on Desperate Housewives? Well, that’s what my two were like: running around laughing their little heads off while mommy looked like she was having a seizure. Oh, the good old days!! I just have to laugh when I see some parents who only think that they’re in proverbial hell. A News Flash: they really have no idea how bad it could actually be, but I wouldn’t dare fill them in. No! Instead, I’ll just sit on the sidelines and smile.

I do agree that all moms can reach their boiling point. Everyone needs a break. No one can take care of children all day without help or a break; and every parent needs to vent once in a while, it’s only human. So I can sympathize with every parent, with every child.

I just think that because I had the “extra” benefit of being “broken in” by my (especially) difficult daughter, that I have a higher tolerance for the pain. For instance, this one mother was yelling at her little boy for taking off his shoe in Target and she acted like it was the end of the world, as she knew it. The boy was, otherwise, good and quiet and followed his mother around like clockwork. And the shoe thing? Well he was able to put it back on as fast as he took it off. No problem. But Mommy Dearest could have chewed his head off.

Looking back 10 years ago (or even sometimes in present day—I dare you to read my Naked Girl post) my little trip to Target would look like this:

Daughter runs off, mommy chases her down as if playing a game of touch football.
Son screams after mommy and daughter, “Why are you running away? Wait, wait, wait…”
Daughter laughs hysterically and takes off her shoes.
Mommy struggles to put said shoes back on--every 10 seconds
Daughter spots a baby with a bottle and yanks it out of his face and starts sucking on it herself.
Mommy forces bottle away from daughter, but daughter has the last laugh and chews off the nipple with one destructive bite.
Store is horrified and wishes we would just go away.
Daughter decides she’s had enough of Target and takes off her clothes—buck naked.
Mommy freaks out and forces daughter’s clothes back on.
Daughter laughs hysterically, again, and kicks mommy because it’s fun.
Son joins in because it looks fun.
Mommy disciplines kids.
Son takes a temper tantrum for being disciplined and starts yelling: “I hate you.”
Mommy forgets why she even had to go to Target and starts chanting: go to your happy place, go to your happy place …while rushing out of the store before Social Services shows up.

Hey, just another day in the life of a mom with autistic kids! ;)