The “label” thing

Autistics, Aspies, Special Needs, a Disorder, my Daughter, my Son, Other:

What do you label your child? Or better yet, what does your special needs child (or adult) prefer to be tagged with?

This is not a hostile post, but I’ve noticed that people call their child (or themselves) with at least one of the aforementioned tags. And it’s interesting to note.

Personally, I’ve never liked hearing the “autistics” and “aspie” label, it has always rubbed me the wrong way--not sure why, but it just does, but I’m not a person with autism or asperger’s. However, I have read recently through another blog that a few people with Asperger’s syndrome do not like to be called aspies--someone actually said that, for them, it was like being called the “R” word. Interesting.

I’ve mentioned before that I don’t like labels and I have not labeled Nick with autism. That is, he does not know that he is on the autism spectrum--like his sister. He does not know what PDD is, nor does he know about MR or even that “R” is used in a derogatory manner--by horrible people. I know this because he has never come home and asked what the R-word means, but he has come home and asked me what: dork, butt head, idiot, nerd …all mean … No, I don’t like it either, but he hears it and wants more input. And it was lesson one in labels.

He knows his sister has “autism” because she is on the severe end of the spectrum and we use the label as a mere explanation for why she cannot talk and has behavioral issues. And why she had to go to a residential school.

Nick doesn’t question labels for himself. He just knows that he has an aide in school because he needs the “special help” and he wants the help, for now. But I am thinking that this may change for him. He might want a further explanation for the “special help” -- someday. Or perhaps some “bully” might offer him an explanation for him and open his eyes further into the world of labels.

I do know that my brother wanted an explanation for his “disorder” because of a childhood troubled by bullies. But he never got this conclusive label until he was an adult. He pursued it and was tagged with ADHD. And to me -- his sister, and someone who understand disorders -- I was relieved for him; I was relieved that he had the "diagnosis." It provided him with the explanation for his behavioral problems growing up -- the remedy; the “why” he was so different from the other kids; the mystery solved. It was a revelation for him and a diagnosis that happens to come with its own label -- like a present. Or is it?

I suppose it’s up to him if he wants to use the "label thing" -- it’s his label. I guess the choices are that he could ignore it and continue on with life with satisfaction that he understands more about himself and his DNA, or he could use it and tell the judging world that he has a disorder so give a little won’t ya…

To note, he has always used the I have “special needs” tag before he was diagnosed and sometimes I believed he used it as an excuse for fearing the world or not getting what he wants. And, as of late, I’ve often wondered if he’d switched to the I have “ADHD” tag to let the world know that he’s now "officially" at some kind of a disadvantage than his competing peer. Or perhaps he’s learned that a “label” really doesn’t get him very far.

I don’t know.