Literally Autistic

I don’t know why, but I keep referring to Nick’s ipod as his iphone…With his hands held open and his arms out wide, he tells me: “I don’t have an iphone, Mom!” He thinks so literally and sometimes lacks the creative thinking to substitute the correct word for my misspoken word (or vice-versa??), or in this case, the correct object…even though it sounds almost similar.

Sometimes I just want to yell: Ughhhh!! You know what I mean!! But he doesn’t really. And I’m still trying to work with him and teach him that people are “only human” and that they make mistakes—and all the time, too…. But then we’d just get into the whole discussion of “why are you mad, Mom? He thinks I'm mad when I'm simply exasperated, and thinks that I’m angry when I’m simply making a strong point! And in case you haven’t guessed, I just really want to say to him:

Hey look kid, I’m simply a product of my own mother—one who always appeared to have an extreme, and before her years case of dementia—to say the least.… So I grew up acquiring the fine art, or skill, of being able to play an interesting game of word-decoding and filling in blanks when needed; that is, putting pieces of stories together and making sense out of the jumble. And let’s not even mention being called three different names before coming to my own…and without taking it personally! So give my 42-year-old brain a break, would ya? Besides, a few centuries ago, most people would’ve been on their deathbeds at my age!!

But, of course, I wouldn’t dare say anything like that to my boy! I could never. I wouldn’t hear the end of the discussion—debate—theories—obsession—traumatic moment-of-a-14-year-old-boy’s-life… and the list could go on and on…

Especially the “death at 42” part…Whoa! I would hear something like: “WHAT, people don’t die at 42, they don’t die until they’re 100, Mom (like on the dot), you know that!! So stop making up stories!” Even though he runs—like a racehorse—to the nearest TV when he hears about death and dying on the news (and before the age of 100)… And I won’t even mention how he took the news about how cats only live ‘til about 20… “WHAT, but that’s just a teenager!!” Don’t worry; I’ll spare you—my good, loyal readers—the in-depth details of that particular discussion… But here’s how the rest of the ipod/iphone story went…

“Why do you always get things wrong, Mom?”
“I don’t know… I was distracted.”
“Why are you always distracted, Mom?”
“I don’t know, it just happens to moms.”
“Like Grandma?”
“Yes.”
“Why does she always get things wrong?”
“Because she’s getting older…and that just happens sometimes…”
“What? she’s not old…100 is old, what are you talking about, Mom? Stop making up stories!!”
“I know, I’m only kidding…”
“Is Nana old?”
“Well, she’s 82..”
“Is that old?”
“Yes, a little”
“Yeah, she got all wrinkly already!!”


Hey, got wrinkles?? ;)

Have a wonderful Easter, or Passover…