Sunday, July 13, 2008

The Naked Girl

Once upon a time I created a small (tiny) lotions business that I named The Naked Girl. The double meanings here were that the lotions were all-natural, aromatherapy infused moisturizers and hand lotions and that my autistic daughter liked to be naked—and who inspired the name. It took me years—literally—to make her wear clothes and to keep them on. We could be anywhere, mostly home, and she would just decided to disrobe. And she was quick too, someone once likened her to Houdini. Kind of cute when she was 2-3-4 and 5, but at 13 and now a fully developed woman—NO WAY! Not cute, only disturbing!

I think by now you probably know where I’m taking this horror story. I forewarn you, the following does contain nudity:

Yesterday we were at a casual restaurant located on the beach in my hometown. Yes, very casual, casual enough to grab dinner with nothing more than your bathing suit and a pair of flip-flops. But shirt is required and absolutely no "exposing of the breasts" (not actually a sign stating this fact, but goes without saying, eh?) Meghan was sitting and waiting for her dinner to arrive and gave her father the sign for the bathroom, but I had stepped away for a moment and he told her to wait. I guess she didn’t want to wait, Daddy, because she pulled down her one-piece bathing suit to full breast exposure! And not once but twice—to make matters worse. Her father had to use all his might to pull it all back up. “OMG!” Well that was the kind of hullabaloo that could be heard throughout the, by then, big crowd of people simply waiting for their fish and chips, and beer and wine—and no nude shows, please! Except for the Chinese family sitting in the corner, they thought it was the funniest thing they’d ever seen, especially little old grandma—at least we made somebody’s day?

Needless to say, while the little old lady was "forcing out" a lot of hot air, I was "sucking in" a lot of cold wine!! And let it be said that we were probably the conversation starter at a few too many breakfast tables this morning.

Oh, what an addition to the family memoirs!!

Can anyone relate?