Making Her Way Back

Meghan has gone back to school—her residential school. Her bus has come and gone and is now en route to school and to a place and a life that she has come to know almost as well as her life here with us. It wasn’t sad to see her off this time; it was more like our routine. But I think that I‘ve finally realized why it was sad for me before. It was sadder for me when we were visiting Meghan at the house (school) and then leaving her behind at a house that was not home--our home that is warm and nurturing and stuffed with love. I've realized that it’s so much easier sending her off to school from home—our home—like it’s supposed to be. I also realize that it’s only school that she is going off to, a place—like a job—or a college—maybe a little bit of both—where she is learning to live and appreciate a more productive and freer life. A special gift really.

That is what I told her this afternoon when she was getting ready to go back to school and stuffing her backpack with the extra clothes that she had brought home, and a lunch that I had made for her for the road, including a few extra Oreos that she would, most likely, not be seeing the likes of at school. I told her while she was looking up at me from where she was laying across her bed just how lucky she was to attend such a great school and one that she clearly loves. I also told her that it’s a great opportunity for her and that I reminded her that it’s loaded with fun activities like schoolwork (she loves) the treadmill (newfound love) swimming pool (reclaimed love) and girlfriends (sisterly love). And I told her that this school is also very expensive because it has so much more to offer her (a life) and that she is extra, extra lucky to have such an opportunity handed to her—like a gift. Then I smiled at her. How much was she understanding? I just don’t know, because she can’t communicate using words, but I noticed her eyes shifting back and forth as if processing the information. And then she smiled at me and grabbed my belly and patted it until we both giggled (it’s her way).

So she went off to school knowing full well that she would soon return home again.

A good life, really—a very good life.