My son gets all As and Bs, but he won’t graduate from high school

Every quarter Nick and I are invited to a special “Honor’s Breakfast,” a breakfast hosted by the school in honor of the kids who make the honor roll.

My son has made the honor roll every single quarter since he started middle school--two years ago--because he gets As and Bs on his report card--and he’s in a special needs class.

A Special. Needs. Class. Don’t get me wrong, I’m always proud of him, and, lately, I’m proud of the fact that he has taken an interest in reading his own report card and noting the good grades and the few comments some of his teachers have written about him in the special comments section.

I’m glad that he does well in school and that he knows it, too. But my problem is this:

Since he’s in special needs and that he does not follow the typical curriculum, but, instead, a modified curriculum designed for him and for his needs--then what is the actual measure used in grading him?

I already know the answer to this question. There’s no measure. He is not at the top of his class because he is not competing with his class; he's receiving good grades for simply doing the work given to him and learning the information at his own pace. He receives a good grade for simply moving forward and, well, learning.

And of course I’m very proud of him for this and for his quarterly achievements--even if it’s not based on the same academic performance and measure of his typical peers… And I will always be proud of him for whatever he works hard for and achieves; I tell him this all the time, because I know it matters.

But what I do worry about is that even though he’s doing well and receiving good grades based on this modified criteria, he will not meet the requirements to graduate from high school. That is: he will not wear a cap and gown and walk to the football field or march through the gymnasium to partake in the ultimate celebration of his life--and receive his diploma--the very same diploma that demonstrates his years of hard work and achievements. In other words: he can attend quarterly honor breakfasts and chew down some donuts, cupcakes and bagels, but he won’t be attending a graduation--or a “congraduation,” as he calls it.

Ironic, isn’t it?

The biggest problem is that he knows all about this “congraduation” and that one wears a cap and gown on their “big day”; a day that I believe he’s looking forward to just as much as he’s looking forward to finally leaving school, but I don’t have the heart to ask. It’s actually funny because I joined Facebook about a month or two ago and one of my classmates from high school found an old picture of our high school graduation ceremony. It was funny to see, but not all that fun for me, because I know that my son will not have one of his own to look back on, some twenty five years later, or to simply remember the day fondly.

And I would love to show him this picture because I know how tickled pink he would be to see an old school photo of me, especially at my high school graduation ceremony and all decked out in my cap and gown …for my congraduation…

But I can’t bring myself to show him the picture.

Btw: I'm third in from the left, front row.